As a kid, I wanted to become a train-Guard. Cricket was my teenage passion. In the youth, I did try to become a govt officer. Now, I am working as a corporate researcher. My toddler son and loving wife never come in between my blog and myself.

Never marry a scientist who is poetic in nature

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Posted on 6:18 PM | By आदि यायावर | In

Thanks to the depressed social and atmospheric condition of United States, I did not get opportunity to fulfill my talkative appetite. Yes, people from the US socialize only in the clubs. Though you will always be flooded with the hello and hi even by strangers, but You will never find the warmth in the western people. As long as hospitality is concerned, I believe they have not heard about this word. I am stating this because I had very bad experience. Here, is the first example. In last week of October, I visited a team of scientist collaborating with us in Berkeley. I have given a series of talk to them. In all the talks, our hosts, the US colleagues, used to sit in the conference room with a mug of coffee in their hands. They never offered me a cup of coffee, on any occasion.   Now imagine this in India. This is never possible that your host will take something without offering you the same.  If this happen at all, it will be considered as a rude.

Anyway, yesterday was one of the best days in last few weeks. At least, I got the chance to fulfill the appetite of my talkative disposition, and I can vouch, this was not “yet another unplanned and unacknowledged talks” to my team members. It was well received. Though I am very talkative in nature but it rarely happened that whatever I am talking becomes a great statement to be quoted by others. But yesterday was my day and it happened like this. I told Amrit, if you want to be a good researcher, you will have to develop a poetic skill in yourself which will instill a courage in you to compare a moon and a lady which seems very absurd in consummated terms.

Amrit is my junior colleague in the team which I have been leading, a very enthusiastic and energetic in nature. I have rejected some of his innovative research idea in recent past. Yesterday, I was explaining him, how to channelize his energy to produce good and quality research. I told him that a scientist needs to compare two entirely different sets of objects, which seems to be very absurd at first glance. I told him, how I used my childhood experience related to the behavior of torch (battery power flash light) during the last hour of draining of the battery. I told him “how I used the idea that if you put the battery on rest, after sustained draining of current, it regains some of the energy.” Yes this was my childhood experience and I used it successfully analyzing the idea and producing a result which was never thought before and which helped me to write a complete chapter of my PhD thesis, producing at least 6 international research papers. 

I kept reiterating him, be like a poet only who can dare to compare the two absurd things. Take lessons from all those poets who compared a moon and a beautiful maiden. Yes a moon, the non-living satellite without oxygen in it, a heavenly mass where man walks like kangaroos, which consists of the mountains and craters of sands, where American flag doesn’t wave even after investing billions of dollars and about which, the people still suspect that there will be millions of viruses hidden in their magical sands. And a lady which still remains the ultimate subject of a dejected or over enthusiastic poet. As two individual objects the moon and the lady are two extremes but it has been compared by the poets.

Today, when I was commuting back to my office, I tried to find out the outcome of yesterday’s 10 hours and 30 minutes which I spent in the office. I did a volume of pending work including 3 meetings and telephone calls and a bit of study. I analyzed each hour, I spent yesterday in the office. I didn’t find any one of them worth remembering or adding to the value of my intellectual assets. Everything was a regular corporate routine work. Except the one statement which I made to Amrit. Today evening when I will return back to my home, I will tell it to my wife, “Honey! only scientists or a poet can compare two absurd things of the life”, giving her an example of a beautiful woman and the mystic moon. I believe it will be the double depressing blow, a big impasse to her.  Because, at any moment of time, I claim to be a poet and a scientist both, within four walls of my mind. 

 

My dinner: a strategic game plan for him

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Posted on 7:23 PM | By आदि यायावर | In ,

It has been 13 years, since, I had taken breakfast regularly. I completely abandoned the idea of breakfast and I am sure, I never took it in this millennium. When, I was in school in late 80's my routine was like this, I use to wake up at 05:30 AM, got myself ready at 06:00AM, breakfast at 06:30AM, mathematics tuition from 07:00AM to 08:30AM. Taking bath at 09:00AM, Lunch at 09:30AM, school from 10:00 to 03:30AM, snacks at 04:30AM, all (wild) play from 04:30 to 06:30PM, study/home work from 07:00PM onward and dinner at sharp 08:45PM just before hitting the bed. I remember, I use to follow this routine 340 days a year. Rest of 25 days were meant for festivals, guests and the days when we use to celebrate the preparation of non-veg by my pure vegiterian mom. Point to be noted my lord, no TV, no internet and no cricket. Still what a fantastic lifestyle.


Everything has been changed now. Virtually no routine, lunch timing is always based on work schedule and the leisure time after work is attributed to the internet. My famous slogan is "जब से इन्टरनेट ने साथ दिया टी.वी. और बीवी दौनो की छुट्टी हो गई thanks to the internet my wife and TV both got pink slips." But irrespective of the schedule, I ensured that we should keep taking the dinner at the same time (08:45PM) with everyone sitting on the ground, plates and bowls spread around us and we ensure we use our four fingers to stimulate the taste buds more effectively. Though, the schedule of most of the activities changed but the time of our dinner is same. Moreover, now we have 3 years old Ayachi, my son, in the family to be with us for dinner.


It is our dinner, but it eventually became a strategic game plan for Ayachi. Mostly, his mom feed him "daal-chawal-sabji" three times a day. However, he never miss so called strategic dinner with us. He always use to occupy the middle seat. He insists his mom to match the numbers of bowls and plates. He use to sit like me, with two of his legs cross folded into his lap (palathi) and his body erected at 90o to the ground.


Though, he always positioned himself to be in line with me and my wife, however, he is more happy in positioning plates and bowls strategically within the reach of his hands, rather he has to re-arrange the system for him. He use to put sabzi in daal and enjoy rotating the mixture with his index finger around the periphery of the bowls, thus making a hollow cone. If he finds either of us staring at him, he makes sure to give us an intelligent look, pretending to be very serious in his business. Even, if it is not require, he will ask for spoons and play with it and the bowls. He rotates the roti several times like a wheel and sometimes ups and downs. The pattern of the rotion is well maintained by him. In between, just for pretending, he will put a piece of aloo in his mouth. Instead of bringing his hand closer to his mouth, he bends down at 90o making his half of the structure parallel to the ground. For everyone else, this may be his immature behavior but for him, it is "yet another game". If we leave him at his will and if we give him company, he will continue to eat (read play) for 3 hours, 4 hours or more.


Our dinner always remain a strategic game plan for Ayachi

Vivah: the non contractual marriage (part-1)

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Posted on 10:51 AM | By आदि यायावर | In ,

So, when Columbus started his voyage to find India, he incidentally discovered America. But he did not stopped at America and kept moving ahead. Finally he reached the place where he departed initially. He was wondering, he traveled so much but why he reached that departure point. Later, he realized the world is round. In ancient time many people across the globe traveled to India for one reason and eventually discovered others. The process of finding India didn’t stop at Columbus. Mr. Thomas Friedman traveled to India in 21st century and observed the changes caused by IT and BPO and he claimed that there is no boundary between any two individual and actually the world is flat.

I will neither agree nor disagree with Mr. Friedman. Sometime when I am communicating across the globe using emails, telephone or yahoo and google groups, the world appears completely flat for me. However, when I see this world without emails and mobile phones through my rich cultural heritage, this world still appears to me a giant rounded football. If you start discovering a particular culture eventually you will arrive at the the point from where you have started in beginning. For example, if I start thinking what is marriage? Is it not absolutely possible to have a family without marriage, thereby, a social life? Yes, more I try to discover the answer of these questions more confusion I get. Then I feel sorry for Mr. Friedman, for, I have every good reason to say the world is still rounded.

Before the readers start feeling the roundness of this world through this article, let me be to the point, “why I am writing this article?”. Yes, in this article, I will try to explain the process and rituals of marriage in Mithila region of India. You may ask, “who are you to explain these things? and why are you doing so?”.

Well, I am a common man and I have been observing these things for last 32 years. I have an eye of anthropologist and I can not understand illogical things. So in this article I will try to see the process and rituals of marriage in Mithila with my anthropologist eye.
“What does it mean?”, you may ask this question again.
I have an anthropologist eye, it means, I don’t believe in the “Garden of Eden” where an apple caused so many issues (yes, I say it an issue). On the other hand I believe in the theory of evolution and thus I believe monkeys were our forefathers.

Second set of questions may be asked to me, “why are you writing this? whom do you want to educate and why?”. My actual target readers are those young maithils who want to understand the rituals of marriage. Typically they are those young people who are either going to get married soon or recently married couples who always wonder what is the purpose of a particular process in a ritual? It is also targeted to those young maithils, who wants to avoid a particular rituals only because he/she doesn’t like it to go through. I can promise, if the readers go through these articles sincerely, there will be no confusion in their minds. If not confusion at least I can vouch that the readers will come to know there is a reason behind every process of a ritual.

Being a firm believer of the principal of social science, I think even there is an important relationship between a reader and a writer. I have already mentioned the purpose of this article. Now it is my expectation from the reader. First thing I would expect from the reader to have patience. I am very energetic and if this energy is not tamed it flows as my arrogance. I would expect from the readers to bear with my un-tamed energy. Third expectation is, I am not a trained writer. So, you may find some strange way of explanation. If you are a voracious reader of English language, it may be possible that my language is non-conventional. I will appreciate, if you can point out these.

So at the very outset of this I have started finding how the word marriage is defined across the globe and let me thank google, for its enormous strength. Following are the excerpt of my research on this word:

Wordnet, a Princeton dictionary defines marriage as, “the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce)”

Wikipedia defines marriage, “Marriage or wedlock is an interpersonal relationship (usually intimate and sexual) with governmental, social, or religious recognition. It is often created by a contract or through civil processes”.

One of the famous websites of USA defines, “Socially-approved sexual and economic union, usually of a male and a female, which is assumed to be more or less permanent.”

Another website of family matters in US define, “Historically, a relationship between a male, a female and their families whose primary purpose is to raise offspring. Today many people use the word to describe a committed, loving relationship with or without children.”

Indian says, “Marriage is a union of two souls which is made in heaven”.

One important point to note at this point is that marriage is volunteering act till divorce. Another important point to remember is that a marriage is a contract. So the definition of marriage is based on the term divorce and contract. This will help the reader to understand the marriage from maithils culture point of view.

To be continued….
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